March 28. Sin titulo

The more alive I feel the more my writing becomes fixed, the more it becomes a token of – death. Mmm, at this point it seems a good idea to let some dogs off the leash to sniff at this paradox. The dogs run towards it, run a few times around it and start to piss against it. I say no stupid dog, you ought to smell and assess the quality of the paradox. Are you a philosopher-dog? You lusty beast! Put your nose up for goodness’ sake and smell my paradox. Am I really writing tokens of death here? What is a token of death anyway? Anything that doesn’t develop anymore?

Gee, this is crazy shit man.

When I see another movie today I will meet a fat person with a red t-shirt that sleeps during the movie and snorts loudly. I will see him in the toilet and on his t-shirt he has the following text “What do you fear most”. Can’t get it out of my head. The movie, “Mes Copains” by Louis Gallet, was pretty good. What do you fear most? I fear that people built societies upon the fundament of fear. We share a lot of things, and fear ist about the nastiest of them.

Because today I will also see a group of ugly highrise buildings surrounded by a fence with a guard. Between the ugly buildings, that stood out like obelisks, the grass is very green. There were children playing on it, and I see children playing right at the fence, putting their head between the bars and they laugh as their fat parents march in with their young siblings crammed in an aerodynamic pram. These children will grow up safely. They will know the world as a dangerous place. They will be careful when they go to school. Well done, parents, clap clap clap. Protecting your kids from life is a bit like killing them.

Tonight, I will have a little party on the balcony, and I will smoke something Pana can roll like a real master. The people around me are so young. They are friendly. They are students. I drink wine and I buy a cigar. I treat myself. The thing will be nothing special.