Tonight I’ll be my own good friend. No other options. But I’m looking forward to it. This way, I can be the friend I want to be. Talking about interesting topics, asking deep philosophical questions without portraying his own theory, looking me into the mirror into the eyes, going to a movie we really agree upon and to a restaurant too. We will have a great time laughing at each other’s jokes, laughing sincerely and tapping each other on the shoulder. I will tell him stories about my traveling yes he will be interested, he will not kick in with his own ambitions and cut me sort, he will be so gentle and kind I think I’ll blossom and flourish. We will only need very few words to understand each other. He will recite a line of poetry for me, and we’ll hug each other in wordless celebration of the intensity of our perception. He will walk next to me, smiling and telling me anecdotes about his travel and o yes I will be interested. He will set the standard for all friendship. I am, for him, more than someone who could help with their technical problems and who has to be called good friend to cover it up. I am respected as a human being by his side. Next to us there will be many voices but we silence them. This friend has the same taste for clothing but he doesn’t really care anyway. I’ll bring him home tonight with my bicycle. O and what else will we do? In our friendship uncontaminated with power? I am looking forward to asking him what he wants, seeing a spark in his lively eyes, I will see him shine and he will come up with something and out of a mutual wish to do something for each other, we will decide to go somewhere. O how well we understand each other. His voice is what I will be listening to when I learn who he is. And he will listen to my voice to find out who I am. And our voices, unused to being heralded absolute authorities on their intentions, they will shine and we will sing and dance on the street together, sharing a bottle of wine until it is time to sleep, and we will cry the tears we’ve thought for each other. It is so good to have a real friend.
September 21. A real friend.
