Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation introduces vaccine against Affluenza

SEATTLE, Washington – Following recent outrage over a 16-year drunk driver who got convicted to only some rehabilitation after killing two and wounding several other people, because he suffered from “affluenza” (the disease of being insanely rich), a spokesperson of the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation has announced that they have successfully developed a vaccine against this severe illness. It has been on the Foundation’s agenda for a while, as they have become increasingly aware that affluenza, more than HIV or malaria, could threaten the post-colonial pecking order and substantially harm the wealth of the 1%.

In his annual address for 2014, Mr. Gates writes “We will also need to solve the problems that come with affluence, like higher rates of diabetes.”

Distribution of the vaccine will start in sub-Saharan Africa with a pilot project in Mozambique announced for May 2014.

When asked about the pharmaceutical details of the new vaccine, the Foundation’s spokesperson showed some reluctance. The main active ingredient, Neavaratia Vulgara, is a substance that  inhibits the brain’s reward system for greedy behaviour, thus preventing the “insane concentration of wealth” in developing countries that prevents broad economic development and improvement in terms of the development indicators as defined by the UN.

Mr. Gates is very optimistic about the introduction of this vaccine, and commented last week that “preventing an pandemic of affluenza is one of the most urgent tasks in public health affairs today, more so than the ongoing efforts against HIV, malaria, and traditional farmer’s independence.”

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One thought on “Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation introduces vaccine against Affluenza

  1. Geweldig dit stuk!
    Ik moest ontzettend lachen terwijl het tegelijkertijd ontzettend serieus en zelfs geloofwaardig klinkt!

    Maar eigenlijk is het natuurlijk diep triest dat zoiets als de genoemde rechtszaak in werkelijkheid mogelijk is, zo’n uitspraak….

    (Weer) bedankt voor je scherpe kijk in deze en ook in vele andere zaken! Ik geniet van je stukken.
    Ben wel een beetje laat met reageren, sorry daarvoor, maar dat is omdat ik pas gisteren thuis ben gekomen na een 17-daagse ziekenhuisopname. Deze was best heftig (7 dagen Intensive Care).

    Ik ben dankbaar dat ik alsnog mag genieten van dit/mijn leven, de mensen en al het andere om mij heen!

    Groet en liefs, Esther

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