The Cat Who Killed Curiosity

Imagine the following scenario. A person who has noticed that the president’s hair has turned grey posts on social media that she suggests he should dye it. Having grown up in a very poor neighbourhood she had not been able to finish school, so she confused orthographical acuity with onomatopoeic precision and spelled it thus: “just die your hair”.

After the demise of her husband, which resulted from the sad coincidence of a preventable disease and the lack of health insurance, she decides she doesn’t want to be alone and acquires a cat.

That cat, Bernie, has a predilection for keyboards and likes to jump on them. The beloved animal hit the ENTER key, thereby causing the message “just die” to be distributed across the Internet. Upon realizing that she has just issued as much as a death wish directed at the president, she gets up and closes her shutters. Then she climbs back behind her computer screen to Google homeland security and pre-emptive drone strikes against imminent threats.

A week later, her account is locked down and there is a CIA undercover across the street.

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